| Author | Message |
BadIan
358 posts |
#186284 2008-05-20 14:44 GMT |
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FADED SATIN
I watch you, still sleeping, whispers of the dark embrace you. So pure and gentle, you hold the world in a kiss. Quiescent, mesmerizing, with a voice that breaks night. I watch you, still sleeping. You will never sing again. |
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StrangerHere
390 posts |
#186285 2008-05-20 14:51 GMT |
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Yeah I can see why it got deleted. It really sucks.
Hickory dickory dock... oh, nevermind. |
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Power2Frogs
350 posts |
#186286 2008-05-20 14:52 GMT |
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thats really deep.
i like it. |
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pandatome
408 posts |
#186287 2008-05-20 15:04 GMT |
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I like this poem. Did the person die? I mean is that the idea? I like it good job!
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DewDrop
365 posts |
#186288 2008-05-20 15:14 GMT |
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I cannot for the life of me understand why they had deleted you beautiful poem.Unless it is the tones of necrophilia that worked contains.
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Grimmy
350 posts |
#186289 2008-05-20 15:17 GMT |
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very interesting.
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Minnie
383 posts |
#186290 2008-05-20 15:29 GMT |
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The poem is beautiful!
It's only my opinion, but I would make the last line a happy one. |
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Ladybug
363 posts |
#186291 2008-05-20 15:29 GMT |
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Honestly, I love it. Especially that last part "I watch you, still sleeping. You will never sing again."
Wonderful work. |
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PunkRocker
376 posts |
#186292 2008-05-20 15:32 GMT |
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Shall I sing for you
a lullaby. A song so very sweet. One that puts your mind to rest And gives Eternal sleep. |
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Justkeepswimming
388 posts |
#186293 2008-05-20 15:33 GMT |
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Super! You are really gaining strength as a poet.
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FallingMoon
405 posts |
#186294 2008-05-20 15:46 GMT |
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I will never understand them. The imagery is intense. I like this poem very much.
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Tuskey
371 posts |
#186295 2008-05-20 15:47 GMT |
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"So pure
and gentle, you hold the world in a kiss." |
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TangerineLeaves
401 posts |
#186296 2008-05-20 16:07 GMT |
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this is kinda creepy..in a sweet way...how is that possible?...
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LoneWolf
354 posts |
#186297 2008-05-20 17:11 GMT |
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Very interesting and darkly beautiful. It could be a person in a coma, or dying that you speak to, or it could be that you are leaving this person behind and their sorrow will be complete. I cannot understand why this was deleted at all. It has a "voice that breaks night". Thank you.
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RacerX
342 posts |
#186298 2008-05-20 17:13 GMT |
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You are on fire today.
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Tryyourluck
377 posts |
#186299 2008-05-20 18:02 GMT |
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Beautiful, and profound beyond words.
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oddperson
345 posts |
#186300 2008-05-20 18:25 GMT |
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I sleep
While you watch the nightmare fades with your whispered lullaby So that I can sleep longer will you sing to me forever? |
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Salinger
400 posts |
#186301 2008-05-20 19:13 GMT |
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COOL BEANS! I likey when they make mention of strange things. i do not care that the name has little visual meaning to the poem, it works! And have you ever tried getting beans out of satin? Not easy!... not that i wear any satin apparel.
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TheBirdWatcher
341 posts |
#186302 2008-05-21 12:03 GMT |
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the smooth covers invite me to sleep
but waking sleeplessness they taunt. |
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